The Toddler Years - Hacks for a proactive day
This post is purely practical and based on a year when my kids were aged 5, 4, 2.5 and 1.5 years.
I found the key is to do what works, change what isn’t working and get rid of preconceived notions of what things are ‘meant to be’.
You will find that being proactive makes you feel like you are in less of a rat-wheel, running round and round as the predictability of things frees up some time to bounce around a bit more and get out of the house more easily.
MORNINGS -
You determine what time lights can go on/when they can make noise.
Hack - kmart clock - cover one side to show the time they can start reading/making noise
They were allowed to turn on their lights after 6am, but were to read quietly until the parents surfaced.
We trained the two older siblings in the room share situation to ‘post’ books to their younger siblings who also read in their cots at this time.
Those plastic, talking/flashing books, and little library books that fit in their hands are great for the little ones too.
VTech Bluey's Book of Games | BIG W
(No siblings? Little basket within reach of cot - placed there after they are asleep.)
2. Milk drinkers first thing?
Hack: sippy cups of milk ready in the fridge for the bigger kids to distribute.
3. Breakfast
Hack: while one parent does breakfast, the other showers/gets ready
4. Lunches:
Hack: Lunch boxes packed the night before, in the fridge.
5. Kids getting ready
Hacks: to encourage independence -
help them be organised. Flip down chart/visual very helpful.
Clothing - preschooler has all her appropriate (sun-appropriate and labelled) clothing in a ‘preschool drawer’. Can make choices from that spot.
The motivation for all of this being done is a flower chart - when they get 10 stickers on their chart they get a little prize (very little).
GETTING OUT THE DOOR -
15 mins/half an hour before we head off somewhere, they can watch some TV (but the house must be tidied up - motivation is the tv)
**TIP - choose a motivation that is going to make them want to tidy up.
Only ask once and then leave it.
“If you would like to watch TV, you need to help pack things away”.
It’s then on them to tidy up if they want to watch something.
Doing this means the house is left clean for when we return - so it’s not stressful or exhausting to come home.
PLANNING FOR THE RETURN -
Before you head off, think about what you’ll need when you get home (when you’ve stretched your little people to their awake limit and everything is going to pot)
Hacks:
1.5 year old - falling asleep on the way home, so his sleeping bag is laid out, with his snuggly and dummy beside it.
A clean nappy is there to change him as he’s put in the sleeping bag.
The blind is already down and his sound machine is plugged in ready to be turned on.
Miss 2.5 is also a bit ratty when we get home, but needs to be occupied until I’m finished with 1.5 year old.
So, in prep for this, there could be a milk in the fridge ready to have, playdough at the table, or a quiet time box ready for her to walk in to and be interested in.
These are little, proactive things that will avoid multiple small people screaming at your ankles which leaves you feeling rattled and out of control.
AFTERNOONS
If you have a toddler transitioning out of a sleep, there are things you can put in place to keep them entertained, yet calm (as they still need some down time - as do you!!)
Does your toddler keep coming out?
Could put a baby gate on their door?
Hacks to help with quiet time -
Quiet time boxes that engage your child if they aren’t sleeping, to stop them from constantly coming out to you.
Using a timer so that kids have an understanding of time.
Audio stimulation - lullabies or story time on ABC kids listen (on a speaker rather than an iPad they can touch)
Making it special by giving the time a special name eg “Just Jesse Time”
It’s a value of mine to make space in the middle of the day - to read, journal, stop. Usually, I created an hour without small people.
The first half an hour is the time to sit down, with lunch or a tea. The second half is more domestic - getting dinner ready or washing etc.
PICKING UP BIG KIDS IN THE ARVOS
When you have to do pick ups… and baby sleeps are interrupted
Hacks:
helpful to give the little ones something to look forward to - like a snack.
snack towers great. There have been different seasons when we’ve had them in towers, ready to go in the cupboard, so one can just get twisted off and there’s an age-appropriate snack inside.
Different colours can be used for different ages.
Other ideas could be a snack drawer or something always ready in the back pack.
DRINK BOTTLES:
So we know where the drink bottle is…
We have a drink bottle bench (ikea shoe rack/table), so we know where the bottles are and they are refilled when empty - easy to find for a quick exit from the house.
Even an 18 month old can do this.
CAR TIME:
Use this time to talk about expectations for where you are going and what you will see when you arrive at your destination.
Doing this, for us, meant there was less room for meltdowns around misunderstanding what we were doing.
EVENINGS
Small kids get tired and hungry… so why not move dinner to 4:30/4:45?
**NOTE - family dinners didn’t start for us until youngest was in preschool
At 4pm kids can watch half an hour of TV while I prepped dinner, then its hands washed
Keep it simple!
Dinner doesn’t have to be elaborate, but nourishing and balanced.
We find using the little sectioned plates from kmart helpful.
Meat/main, veg and fruit, yoghurt.
Water with meals.
Meal times are an opportunity to talk
Clean up?
One parent cleans up while the other baths the kids - avoids lengthy clean ups once kids are down!
GETTING READY FOR BED -
Toddlers need 11-14 hours sleep (incl naps) and preschoolers need 10-13 hours.
Create predictability around heading to bed - helps kids feel calm, secure, safe. Sometimes a bit of creativity makes it fun for all involved!
Ours ran like this -
Bath (post dinner)
‘Show’ (our kids loved to perform and this became a great motivation for getting out of bath). When each child had danced to a song we would say “Good night Australia” and off they would toddle to their beds!
Stories read then reading on own
Prayer
Lights out (6:30/6:45)
Note: Due to room sharing, we used gentle lullabies for a period of time for kids to go off to sleep to.
By 7pm, we are done.
They can chat until they fall asleep (usually around 6:45/7) and that is totally fine. They are safe, secure and tucked in for the night.
Then we feel sane as we have time together, or time to do what we need to do.
IN SUMMARY:
Proactive rather than reactive
Did meltdowns happen? YES
Were there tantrums? YES
Was I tired? YES
… But not usually surprised or embarrassed by my circus!
I was able to stay composed and calm (through most of it), knowing these were all teachable moments/opportunities for growth.
And when I stuffed up… it was an opportunity for repair and connection.
You’ve got this! x